Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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