Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
