either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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