We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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