somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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