I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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