Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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