R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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