This house was built for laser tag.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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