Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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