You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Randomize
