I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
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