Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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