He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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