my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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