my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
