i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Randomize
