I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
