NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
