I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize
