apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize