bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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