The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Randomize