On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
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