I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
