He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
My ass is underappreciated
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
