my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
