i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
