I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
