yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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