just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Randomize
