So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
