Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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