i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
this just has baby written all over it
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
