I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
