you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize