He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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