Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
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