I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
