She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
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