Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Randomize
