Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
