i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
