lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
