i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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