Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
