you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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