Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
