he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
