That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Will exercising make me less horny?
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
