Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Randomize
