We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
