Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
