He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
