Already got asked if we're dating
Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
