apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Randomize