how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
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