Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize