The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
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