Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
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If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
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Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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